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How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cigarette

№99 ~4 minutes

In which I talk about what it’s been like since I took a break from smoking.

8 weeks and 1 day ago I took a long and semi-permanent break in smoking. That post title over there. Yeah, that one. A reference again, I like you those as you probably already know and I am not planning on stopping them any time soon. Not that you’ve ever complained. This post, the one after the jump. It’s about how I realistically managed to stay smoke free.

Yeah this one right here.

“What’s my secret?”, some of you might be asking. And well, not to spoil a “good” story but there isn’t one. Not at least in the usual sense of the word. People usually attribute big changes in their lives to some cataclysmic event. Because I suppose people assume that change doesn’t come by choice. There has to be a reason, a big reason, for things to change so suddenly. And whilst I suppose that is true for many people that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be true for everyone. Confronted with this question I am sure most people would say “Of course not!”. But that doesn’t change that most people — who stop to think about it at least — seem to assume that their has to be reason. Most people don’t think about it though — for good reason I suspect — because their too self-obsessed to consider other people and other people’s problems. I suspect it stems from the same reason which makes people react in disgust when confronted with any reasoning suggesting Hitler wasn’t simply a “genocidal fuck head”. I mean yeah sure, he did commit “genocidal fuck head”-y actions but I imagine that he probably didn’t think of himself as “evil”.


That reminds of a thing I was supposed to do. Or rather continue with.


Anyway. Stopped smoking. No big reason. Blah blah. So far I have — not saved but spent elsewhere — £310 by not smoking. You know what, I just might actually buy myself that Nexus 7 at some point. As a sort of gift to myself for well… not killing myself slowly. Nah, I’ll get myself a tablet because I want one.

8 weeks and 1 day ago money was tight and I felt like that was my fault (arguably a part of it was). Years ago I had promised myself I would stop smoking when I found out that I was going to be a father. I broke that promise to myself. My own father having smoked his entire life passed away a few months before I found out I would become a father. He broke most promises he ever made. Not that he has ever around. Long story, maybe I’ll get to it some day. Provided anyone’s interesting in hearing my story.

People who say you can’t learn from other peoples’ mistakes are full of shit, they simply won’t acknowledge the possibility that someone knows better than them.

So yeah. As you might have figured out already, when I said there was no big reason. I was lying. There was a big reason — though I stand by that there doesn’t always have to be — and the reason I said there wasn’t was because whenever you focus too much on the reason behind something it makes the result less important. As to sort of say: “Oh, well… if I had those reasons I would have done it sooner”. It belittles the efforts put into making the change.

Or maybe it’s just me. Either way. Once I started — stopping that is — it was actually surprisingly easy to keep at. Yes, there were times when I wanted to punch people in the face, but then again I probably always wanted to do that and simply went out for a cigarette before to resolve it. Now, I am more likely to tell those people that I feel like punching them in their stupid faces. Yes there were times when I wanted to go out for a cigarette. But the way I see it; I have put so much effort into it by now. One cigarette will ruin that effort. One cigarette is pointless, hence there’s no point in smoking it. If I am going to smoke again I might as well do it full time again. I suspect other smokers also think one cigarette is pointless, but they instead reason that since it is pointless they might as well smoke it. Maybe. I don’t know. Other smokers out there? Comments?

But at least I can look forward to statistically living longer. And then when I turn 77 I start smoking again. That’s the new plan. At least until Future Carlos changes his mind, and he might, that fucker is wildly inconsistent.

The Descension

Breaking That Special Habit

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