5 days until Christmas. The countdown continues.
You know what I think you deserve after all those baking preparations you did yesterday?
Some limericks, that’s what.
Yeah, I know I know, you’re just lost for words from how blessed and special you feel in receiving this awesome gift. No, save your gratitude for later, I might need a kidney some day.
For those of you that don’t know what a limerick is, here’s a limerick that explains what a limerick is:
Writing a Limerick's absurd, Line one and line five rhyme in word, And just as you've reckoned They rhyme with the second; The fourth line must rhyme with the third.
Clever, right? Well, now that you know what I limerick is, let’s get right to a Christmas one so that this post will have a tangent with the overarching Christmas countdown.
When Rudolph got hurt in a fight He couldn't lead Santa that night Too much Christmas cheer And eggnog, and beer, His red nose was shiny, all right!
I’ve only written a limerick once before—back in school—and it wasn’t very good, I imagine since I can’t remember it, so bear with me as I try to summarize “The 12 days of Christmas” into a short limerick.
My true love to me gave Birds that I first had to shave, Pluck, stuff and bake. Into one giant cake That I then ate
No post about limericks would be complete without the classic, “There once was a man from Nantucket”, so here’s the most offensive one I could find.
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. And he said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, “If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it.”