In which I decide to tackle the new endeavour of learning how to drink whisky. And I really want your help.

The Pretentious Perception of Carlos

442 words about life — 21:00 · 12th Oct 2014

As I’m sure some of you already know, I enjoy both trying new things and learning new things. But curiously though, most of the time you aren’t privy to these journeys of mine until after I’ve already started them.

Well this are about to change buddy, because I know diddly squat about drinking whisky. Which is where you come in.

Join me, for the first time in the history of Carlos, as we are about to begin our—totally not creepy—adventure together from the very start.

I often sit and think about how I’m perceived. And let’s face it. I’m a bit of a pretentious hipster, I really am. And rather than pretending I’m not, I try to embrace it and not shy away from the repercussions.

A glass of whisky on the rocks in an English pub
“Whisky” courtesy of Joshua Rappeneker, cropped to 16×9 under its CC BY-SA 2.0 license.

Which brings me to the whisky.

For some time now I’ve been thinking about adding it to my repertoire of things that I drink. I look at myself in mirror and I think, “Yeah, I’m the kind of pretentious self-proclaimed artist who should be sitting at a massive oak table, penning my next novel whilst enjoying a glass of whisky.”

But, there’s a problem and this is partly why I’m asking for your advise.

See, I can’t stomach whisky. And I don’t mean it in a “I don’t like it” kind of way. I mean, the few times that I’ve had whisky in the past has always resulted in the whisky hitting my stomach and then seconds later, instantly and violently, returning to greet the light of day again.

Now I imagine that I’m doing it wrong and that I’ve also only had cheap and poor quality whisky. Drinking it like a shot probably didn’t help either.

But I’d like to think I have potential. I like my coffee black and strong and I like my ales to be of the stout and porter variety.

So raise your hand if you either; Already drink whisky and should comment with useful tips, or, if you would also like to drink whisky and like me, don’t quite know where to start, buckle down and get ready for the ride.

Help me become more pretentious than I already am.

What should I start with?

How do I drink it?

What should I be looking for in a good whisky?

You’ve just read The Pretentious Perception of Carlos.

In which, 9 years ago, I wrote 442 words about life and I covered topics, such as: whisky .