The following event(s) take place between 5th July and 19th December. All responsible parties have been punished in accordance with the severity of their transgression.
Begin incident report.
Date and time of incident
From 2021-07-05T00:00:00Z to 2021-12-19T09:43:00Z.
Location of incident
Essex, United Kingdom.
It has been noted that the impact resonated across the globe because that’s, “how websites work.”
Type of incident
DigitalOcean, Load Balancers changed to only accept and send traffic to targets that are part of a Virtual Private Cloud (VPC).
Person(s) involved in the incident
Carlos, hereby referred to as; Dickhead.
Rafael Rosa, Senior Product Manager at DigitalOcean, hereby referred to as; Rafael.
Manuel Matuzović, hereby referred to as; Manuel.
Person(s) who reported the incident
Were person(s) injured due to incident
Inconclusive but unlikely.
If, Yes, please attach a separate sheet with the names, addresses and contact details of the injured.
Sensitivity of data
All data transfers during the incident were insecure.
Chain of events
Rafael notified Dickhead of the upcoming feature deprecation on 2020-12-22T09:15:00Z. Despite the 6-month notice, Dickhead did not migrate target Droplets in due time.
On 2021-07-05T00:00:00Z DigitalOcean stopped supporting the use of public IPs on the target Droplets completely. As a result, all existing A records pointing to the www-subdomain were now redirecting to the public IPs. SSL certificate was no longer being served and assets that were requested securely were not being served. This, in return, resulted in no additional assets, such as styles and fonts, being displayed.
Manuel reported the issues on 2021-12-19T06:04:00Z.
By 2021-12-08:43:00Z Dickhead had investigated and resolved the issues.
3600 seconds later—this was the duration of the Time-to-live (TTL)—Dickhead verified that the issues had been resolved and notified all relevant parties.
Impact of incident
No SSL certificate on www-subdomain. No additional assets, such as styles and fonts, were displayed.
Duration of incident
5 months 14 days 9 hours 43 minutes.
Reason for duration
Dickhead had no idea.
Consequences following the incident
Dickhead has addressed the issue by updating the DNS A records to point to the new Load Balancer. An official Mitigation Request has been filed, which seeks to address future issues by implementing safeguards.
His mother has been informed of the incident.
End of incident report.