Look, I’m gonna be honest with you.
Where, by “you” I, of course, mean a Future Carlos who might look back at this before pressing delete in another yet-to-be-written Tales From The Archive cull.
Yes, it’s suddenly June.
And in about 2 weeks, give or take—it’s give—it will be my 41st birthday.
But I’m not worried, or lost, or anything like that.
Nor am I surprised by it suddenly being June.
This year, as all years tend to do, has brought with it plenty of interesting detours along the way.
Burnout being one. Realising that I need to find a new job is another—in an industry that currently burning it all to the ground by shoving AI into everything.
Unless it was already clear, allow me a moment to make it clear: I don’t hate AI but it’s not going to solve anything. The CEOs of various AI companies are deluded little piss-babies who yearn for a time when slavery was still legal. And I don’t want any of those fuckers to be in charge of anything. So, kill all billionaires.
Parenting a toddler, is another. Now, I want to be clear again. I love all of it, even the hard days. I’m getting the opportunity to show up and be calm in a way I don’t think I ever received as a child myself, and I can see the positive impact its having.
Like I said recently in a conversation: having a child is piss easy, parenting is hard.
Oh, and I’ve also—in my spare moments—have been building Warhammer terrain and chipping away at my debut album.
The first requires flexing my crafting muscles, and I’m really enjoying the multiple media aspects of it all; from cardboard and hot glue, to grass and brick, and windows boarded shut with wood, every little details adds up to the level of fidelity I’m looking for.
The second requires learning an entire suite of professions that were once divided across an music production company and label, or something to that effect. Now, I can get a Digital Audio Workstation (DAW) and do everything myself.
Except I don’t know how to do everything myself. And, more importantly, I don’t even know if I want to know.
I don’t think I want to be a music producer. I think I’m more interested in being a musician, but I can’t afford to pay someone to do the parts I’m not interested in and I have more time than I have money, so here we are.
I mean, I don’t hate it. In fact, after trying a few DAWs, I’m quite liking Logic. But, but but big BUTTS! I want to be a musician, not a music producer and no DAW is going to change that.
I’ll figure it out. I have already laid out the scratch tracks, and the rough tracks for the whole album, so that I can play along to it with my guitar and it feels great. I’m sure I can figure out the rest so that I can make it sound vaguely like it already-sort-of sounds in my head.
So there you go Future Carlos, enjoy reading this, knowing that next week you’re seeing the doctor about a vasectomy.
Snip snip motherfucker.
Peace up.
A-town.